Questions to ask your grandparents about their life

The short answer

The best questions to ask grandparents are open ones that invite a story, such as “Tell me about…” or “What was it like…”, asked one at a time, with room for silence [1][2]. The easiest way in is an old photo: ask who is in it, where and when it was, and what was going on.

Below are 59 questions in 12 themes, 5 for any old photo, and the follow-ups that turn a short answer into a story. Print them free, no email needed:

US Letter PDFA4 PDF

4 pages, about 82 KB. Letter for the US and Canada, A4 for most other countries.

How do you start the conversation?

Ask ahead, and agree on a time and place that suits them [1]. Share a few questions beforehand and begin with easy ones [2]. Pick a quiet spot, with water and tissues nearby [4].

If you’d like to record, ask first and say what will happen to the recording [1]. Make it clear they can skip any question, take a break or stop at any time [3]. Step by step: how to record a family history interview.

A good opening line: “I’d love to hear about this photo. There are no wrong answers, and you can pass on anything.”

What are the best questions to ask about an old photo?

Ask these five, in order. Old photos, letters and keepsakes are one of the best ways to bring memories back [1].

1. Who’s here? Names, nicknames and how everyone is related. And who was behind the camera?
2. Where and when? The place, the year, the season. A best guess is fine. Just add a question mark.
3. What was going on? The occasion, the day, and what happened just before the picture was taken.
4. What’s outside the frame? What the photo doesn’t show: the sounds, the smells, the weather, who was standing just out of sight.
5. Why keep it? What this moment means now, and what someone in the family should know about it a hundred years from now.

Is there a printable list of questions to ask grandparents?

Yes, free: the questions on this page, the five photo questions and the follow-ups, on four pages with a box to tick beside each one. Bring it to the next visit, circle a few, and let the conversation go where it goes. Free to print and share; no email needed.

4 pages, about 82 KB. Letter for the US and Canada, A4 for most other countries.

What should you ask grandparents about their life?

Choose two or three questions for a visit, not twenty. Follow the story, not the list. These come from the 114-question collection in the Shoebox to Storybook Guide.

Childhood home

1. Who lived with you when you were small?
2. Where did you go to play, or to be alone?
3. What frightened you as a child? What made you feel safe?
4. Which neighbors did everyone talk about?
5. What did your family do on a day off?

The family before you

1. What do you know about where your parents grew up?
2. What work did the adults in your family do? What did you think of it as a child?
3. What did the grown-ups argue about? What made them laugh?
4. Which relative are you most like? Who did people say you took after?
5. What do you wish you had asked your parents or grandparents?

School and growing up

1. What was your first school like? Can you picture the classroom?
2. How did you get to school, and who did you see on the way?
3. What came easily to you? What did you struggle with?
4. What music, shows or games did everyone love when you were a teenager?
5. What did your parents never find out about?

Work and making a living

1. How did you end up in the work you did the longest?
2. Who taught you the most at work?
3. What mistake at work do you still remember?
4. Did you ever change direction? What made you do it?
5. What did your work teach you that you used everywhere else?

Friendship and love

1. Tell me about a friendship that lasted. What kept it going?
2. Tell me about a wedding, celebration or promise that mattered to you.
3. Is there someone you lost touch with that you still think about?
4. What did you learn about love or friendship the hard way?
5. What advice would you give someone about choosing the people in their life?

Family life

1. Tell me about a day a child came into your life, by birth, adoption, marriage or any other way.
2. What surprised you most about looking after a family?
3. Which house rules got broken the most?
4. Who helped you through those busy years?
5. What was hard about those years that people don’t talk about?

Places and moves

1. Tell me about a move that changed your life.
2. What did the family bring with them? What did they leave behind?
3. What was your first home of your own like?
4. What has changed most in the place where you grew up?
5. Where do you feel most at peace?

Food, traditions and celebrations

1. Which traditions did you keep, and which did you let go?
2. What did your family do when someone was celebrating, or grieving?
3. What did you eat when money was tight?
4. Who was the best cook in the family? Who was the worst?
5. What songs did your family sing, or what music was always playing?

The world around you

1. How did events in the wider world change everyday life in your family?
2. How did people get news and keep in touch back then?
3. Were you part of a community, cause or group that mattered to you?
4. Did anyone in the family serve in the military or live through a war? What would they want people to know?
5. What change in the world are you most glad you lived to see?

Objects and keepsakes

1. Tell me about a piece of jewelry, a tool or a dish that has a story.
2. What is in the box or drawer of things you can’t throw away?
3. Is there something you lost that you still think about?
4. Which letters, recipes or papers in the family should be kept?

Hard times and turning points

These can touch painful memories. Ask only if the storyteller wants to, and never push.

1. What is the hardest thing you have lived through? Say as much or as little as you like.
2. Who or what helped you through a loss?
3. What did you learn from something that didn’t work out?
4. How did you change after the hardest years?
5. Is there anything you would like the family to understand about that time?

Looking back, looking ahead

1. What did your family believe in, and how did it show up in everyday life?
2. Who taught you the difference between right and wrong?
3. Have your views changed over your life? What changed them?
4. What do you think matters most in a good life?
5. How would you like to be remembered?

What follow-up questions get the best stories?

The first answer is often short. These follow-ups open it up. Ask for details: names, sounds, smells, what people said [2].

• What happened next?
• Can you tell me more about that?
• What did it look like? Sound like? Smell like?
• Who else was there?
• How did you feel then? How do you feel about it now?
• Why do you think it happened that way?
• Can you give me an example?
• What did people say?
• Is there anything I didn’t ask that I should have?

What if they say nothing interesting ever happened to them?

It’s the most common first answer. Don’t argue. Ask something small and concrete, like “What was your first job?” or “What did your kitchen look like?”, or put a photo in their hands. The stories follow the details.

What if their memory is fading?

In dementia, older memories often stay longer than recent ones, and photos, music and familiar objects can help bring them back [5]. Aim for connection, not a memory test, and follow their lead [5]. Watch for frustration, let them simply watch if they prefer, and make sure they feel successful [6]. If they tire, stop and come back another day [1].

How do you ask about war or hard times?

Gently, and only if they want to. When people look back on their lives, unwanted memories can return [7]. Let them set the pace and change the subject when they want to.

In the US, the Veterans Crisis Line is 988, then press 1 [7].

What do you do with the answers?

Write each story up the same week, while you remember how they told it. Keep their own words, and mark any guess with a question mark. Give them a copy of any recording [4], and let them change or hold back anything they shared [3].

One story with its photo makes one page. Twelve pages make a first family storybook. See how to make a family history book, or print the free Photo Story Starter to try it tonight.

Sources

Official guidance this page follows. Each link was checked on the date shown.

1. The Smithsonian Folklife and Oral History Interviewing Guide (revised edition). Smithsonian Center for Folklife and Cultural Heritage, © 2016. Checked October 8, 2026.
2. Tips for a Great Conversation. StoryCorps, updated 2021. Checked October 8, 2026.
3. For Participants in Oral History Interviews. Oral History Association, updated 2025. Checked October 8, 2026.
4. Veterans History Project Field Kit. Library of Congress, American Folklife Center, September 2021. Checked October 8, 2026.
5. Reminiscence and Reminiscence Therapy. Alzheimer’s Association, undated. Checked October 8, 2026.
6. Adapting Activities for People With Alzheimer’s Disease. National Institute on Aging (NIH), reviewed July 8, 2024. Checked October 8, 2026.
7. Older Adults and PTSD. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD, updated September 25, 2026. Checked October 8, 2026.